


hnnnn projecting onto fictional character make brain go brrrr

by disgusting_horny_bitch



Series: dbh is sad rn [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Damian Wayne Feels, Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Damian Wayne Whump, Hurt Damian Wayne, Hurt No Comfort, Other, am I gonna tell my therapist? no I actually need to get a new one idf like this one, am I projecting onto Dami? yes, do I have issues with my parents? also yes, god I'm so fucked up, why am I so painfully aware of the ways my parents failed me, wow this is really just me projecting my teenage self and me rn onto Dami haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:22:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29961558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disgusting_horny_bitch/pseuds/disgusting_horny_bitch
Summary: Damian's not okay. Maybe he never was.
Relationships: Damian Wayne & Everyone
Series: dbh is sad rn [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2203653
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	hnnnn projecting onto fictional character make brain go brrrr

**Author's Note:**

> WAIT FUCK I FORGOT TO TW ORIGNALLY.
> 
> tw//vaguely suicidal thoughts, implied self-harm thoughts, depression

Damian stared blankly, lost in his thoughts. They were consuming him again, as they did often. He always wondered about everyone’s true feelings. Especially towards him. Even though he was trained in reading body language, a strange sense of doubt welled up within him. And it made sense. So many things they did were half-thought out and impulsive. And so many times had they betrayed him. His mother and father claimed to love him, and yet, put so little effort into his relationship with him, usually only coming to talk to him due to some outside force. Due to whatever tensions between them, due to Dick’s nagging, due to some strange obligation that didn’t lead to genuine feeling interactions, due to everything, it seemed, but love. 

His grandfather, even as much as he despised the man, was blunt. He would dance around you for a moment, relishing in your emotions before revealing himself. But at least he revealed himself in the end. It was much simpler than the guessing that went on with everyone else. 

His parents… they tried, or at least acted like they did, and yet, he had turned out so fucked up. Not the perfect soldier that his mother wanted, or the perfect robin, the perfect sidekick, like his father wanted. He wasn’t even a decent amalgamation of the two. He had failed.

His mother, even as distant as she was, tried to bond with him unsuccessfully. It seemed the will of his father overshadowed her, even as powerful as she was. Or maybe she just didn’t care enough to try harder.

His father held lofty expectations for him. At first, they had been slightly aligned with his own. Despite the differing moral systems, they wanted similar things. But now? As he was finding himself, actually, truly finding himself? They were at odds. He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t keep being the perfect kid, even with his anger issues. 

And more than anything? He was tired. He was numb and tired and his world was dull. Despite the sparks of joy and anger that persevered through the fog, no fire, not even an ember caught. There was something wrong with him.

When Dick… died and Ric took his place, Damian should have been broken up, sobbing, much like the rest of his family, even Todd, the one who tried to be so fucking stoic. And yet, he felt nothing. He had chuckled to himself with the realization; he really was heartless.

He really was a monster.

When Jon had left, Damian found it jarring. It had been so sudden. Immediately he jumped to blame himself. Had he done something? Had he pushed him away? Had Jon simply gotten tired of him, like everyone else? He stares at his scars. One more couldn’t hurt. It would be easy to hide.

He refrains from doing it. His thoughts tell him he’s a coward. He agrees. 

He doesn’t come out of his room much. Nothing to do. His father has long since banned him from patrol for being too brash and reckless and schooling has been disrupted so much by their nightly activities that father no longer requires him to go. 

The only thing that keeps him moving at all is feeding his pets. Much to Alfred’s dismay, Batcow and Goliath spend their time in his room as well, sometimes leaving to walk outside, but never straying from him for long. They can sense his emptiness. They understand. 

And yet, he’s greedy. It’s not enough. They’re not enough. He’s selfish. He doesn’t even deserve them. And he wants more?  _ Why _ ?

His father has had enough. He drags Damian out of his dark cave of a room whenever possible, making sure to grumble about how reclusive he’s become, as if he’s one to talk. Damian doesn’t speak to him. He doesn’t speak to anyone. It’s too tiring.

Titus dies. Its a sudden thing, one day he’s there and the next he’s not. Damian wants to cry, wants to sob for him, but he can’t. His eyes sting, but not wetly. He can’t even cry for one of his dearest companions. His humanity really has been lost. There’s no saving him now. 

Maybe there never was.

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously this is a weird amalgamation of projecting and just writing angst jfc. I’ve never projected this strongly before but ehhh whatever. Ilyyyyyyy <3


End file.
